Tue, Oct 24, 2006
We made more pies last Saturday. I have some great pics of them that I will post this week. Aside from the pies being really nice, the day was total crap for me.
I made someone mad in my group and I feel bad about it, but also confused. Confused because I am not sure exactly what I did to make them mad … but there is nothing I can do about it except be sorry, move on, and get over it. I can’t please everyone all the time, and I will make myself nuts if I try!
Sometimes our teacher can kick some ass, and that kind of scares me. Especially if I am not sure if I am in the line of her ass-kicking fire. (Apparently my group wasn’t but we sure felt like we were.) I ended up getting a little mouthy … something I tend to be when I feel like my back is against the wall and I don’t know why. I hope I did not make her mad. (You see the trend for the day, yes?)
Our written mid-term was also this week. I think I did ok. Not great. I can think back to all the questions that I think I got wrong and it makes my palms sweat. (I have perfection issues) I had a dream last night I got an ‘F’ on it. I hope that is just my sub-conscious projecting my insecurity about the exam. The last thing I need is prophetic dreams of failed mid-terms.
Next week begins Puff Pastry. I am nervous and excited about Puff. I guess it is all the rolling in because I struggled with Danish. Let’s hope this round of rolling and folding goes better!
If you have been reading you will know I had a culinary school epiphany a few weeks ago: Don’t think you know it all.
On Saturday I had Epiphany #2: This is something I WANT to do, not something I HAVE to do, and I do not have to be perfect.
I need to try hard and learn as much as I can, but being the best is not always the goal.
This makes me feel a lot less neurotic about school, my relationships with my classmates, and my overall performance. I will just do my best. Besides, no one is going to tell me I can’t open my own bakery if I did not get the highest score on the mid-term, or bake the most perfect danish of all time!
This is for me, and I need to relax and enjoy it!
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